The Subjective Priveleges of Being Human

To begin a new eon of life, is to have certain aspects of one's current reality smashed into oblivion, leaving clear ground upon which to build a new foundation of that reality. This includes much, having to do mostly with the self. The image is wiped away with the perceptions that were proven false; that being the inherent flaw in the Ego, it is subjective, but permutates a reality that takes hold on our minds as if it were objective truth; the existence of which is under much suspicion. Can we, having that subjectively oriented reality that is perpetually moving and changing, ever know what the one objective truth is -that which occurs with or without validation from our subjective psyche- in any situation. I don't believe it possible, and I don't expect anything short of Armageddon when we can...anything less would be a bastardization of a finale`. Such an anti-climactic end to our perceptions is to be expected I guess...as it's only a perceived possibility anyway. That definition of Finale`, being different to each person...or at least potentially, different to me.It's enough to drive one to the fringe of lunacy, and send one into fits of horrendous paranoia, and desolation, and apathy. But you always come back round to realize, that no matter what the circumstances of your self pity, and wallowing self doubt, there is the possibility of learning more about the mysteries of ourselves with each day. Is that what inspires you? Maybe not...probably not...but maybe it could if Armageddon was on the horizon. Threatening the comfort of the invisible mortality that we all have; not realizing what it is to stand in cognition of death, the omnipresent, but never real threat of dying just floats behind us always, like that god damned Wendigo, and every time you think you look it in the face, you just end up staring at the empty air, fearing the invisible and mysterious and strange fate that waits for all of us after the extended flail and grope that comprises our lives. There is one time, when you will see the face, and know the mysteries, and feel the complete peaceful fear of your Ego's end...Thus we are brought to the afterlife. Possibly an Ego enforced con on humanity to validate death. The Ego is far too important for only one lifetime, it needs eternal validation and security, therefore once the Ego developed far enough to impose control over our temporal reality, it conceived the notion of an afterlife. Is that so far fetched to consider? Is that so out of the realm of possibilities? I think that the Ego has foisted cons upon our psyche far more subtle and difficult to piece together. This concept of an afterlife is a fairly obvious manipulation, and with a startling lack of attempted obfuscation by the Ego... how contemptuous. That bastard swine is just laughing at us now! Having his way with our reality. Creating those questions that we can not answer, to make us come crawling back to it for support and redemption... Well fuck you Ego! I won't have it. I'll take one of those new-fangled lobotomies doctor, and one for my lover too. Maybe the simplicity of primal order, is the peak of the bell curve. Maybe happiness can be found through ignorance, I don't know. But I'll be damned if I let some self obsessed, messianic wannabe, psycho-analytical concept, fuck me around. Maybe what it all comes down to is, facts are just as subjective a perceptions, and everything comes down to faith. Nothing is true, everything is permitted. The senses are the link to the outside reality, but take them away and what is left?Emotions and concepts, with no words, language, sounds, or images. Even sound, such an important structure in my life, is wanton and useless in an abstract space. We need to make contact with those, through deprivation of the senses at first, then incorporation of the senses to aid in the connection. Seek the middle pillar... not the left or the right as you please.