Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Conflict Resolution 101

Here we are again. I'm sitting in my cramped basement office and I can hear the two over-the-hill maintenence workers having shamelessly rough sex in the boiler room. Janitors fuck like champs, apparently.
I laugh, but somewhere in that laugh there is a sign of some sick desperation that just pleads for someone to get me the fuck out of here.
But there are some things that have been going positive lately. I've finally picked up and moved on from dwelling on Keri. It's amazing that after two years it hasn't seemed to have affected either one of us very much. Maybe that's the friendship thing already working. Our ability to patch things up easily is just carrying over. I'm not going to say that I was glad when the relationship ended, but I'm also not going to say that I was thrown into some sort of existential funk over it. It was two fantastic years with hardly a single fight, so I guess it was bound to end at some point. Couples that hardly ever fight never last. They're always better off as friends.
I guess I've never believed wholeheartedly that there is someone out there for everyone. But I believe that there is someone out there that will come along and have a profound impact on who you are And for me, that was Keri. In the long run, I don't know what's going to happen with her and I. If we don't end up together, then it was neither of our faults. It was just something that had to happen. I don't really believe in fate, but I'm pretty sure that it exists in some form or another.
What I really want is for Keri and I to be happy in whatever way that we can. If that means just being close friends and being with other people, then who am I to fuck with that? If someone else can make her happy, then it's not my place to fuck that up. Nor would I want to.
I know that the last thing I want is to become one of those jealous, possessive ex-boyfriends that try to get all involved in the rebound relationships of their exes. I wasn't jealous or possessive when Keri and I were together and I sure as hell am not about to start with that shit now.
I hope this other guy is a good guy; a nice guy. I hope he's someone that can care for her and make her happy. I hope he's someone that knows, like I did, how lucky he is to have her.

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