Good/Funny sh*t I've said/thought/heard/read recently

So a while ago I saw this guy using a leaf-blower. I turned to Sara and said, "That guy blows."

"The grass is always greener on the other side, but there is no other side, so stop complaining about the grass."

I want to take somebody's giant blow-up lawn decorations and place them on the front step facing the door in the middle of the night, so come morning when they leave for work, there's a tremendous pumpkin glaring eerily at them from outside.

"The surface of the earth is the shore of the cosmic ocean. Recently we've waded a little way out, and the water seems inviting." - Carl Sagan

"There's a huge difference between thinking about something and actually doing it. Try to choose appropriately." - viruscomix

Fucking Australian animals. They would have four dicks.